Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
