ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
