im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
