office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
