he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
