And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
