Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
