This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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