people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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