You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize