Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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