did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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