she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
