? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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