Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i've created a new STD.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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