my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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