I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
