Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
