Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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