my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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