dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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