Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
