Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc

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(713): View more from Texas

i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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(513): View more from Ohio

he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.

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(917): View more from New York City

had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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(254): View more from Texas

I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.

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(623): View more from Arizona

We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.

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(585): View more from New York

She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.

(585): View more from New York

Probably not gonna date her.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.

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