does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
