Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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