I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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