I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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