drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
