so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
