NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
