her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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