i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
