I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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