I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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