Need sex. Gaining weight.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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