I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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