If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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