i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
