Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just cropdusted the office
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
