I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She's not a foreskin expert like you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
