does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
