Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
