i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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