I think I am morally bankrupt
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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