is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
