I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
