i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
