we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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