Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you win again, gameday.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
