just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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