Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
