i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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