you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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