White coat. Heels.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
