i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
