I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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