Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
