I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
