idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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