Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
