seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
