Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
