once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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