Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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