I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
