Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
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