Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
